May 31, ‘20 post on FB
This is important for anyone who knows me to read & understand fully: While my longing is that the tonality of the skin each of us wears would never be what determines our worth or validity in society, & while I cry for a person’s sexuality or sexual orientation to have no bearing on the doors that open or close for them in life, & while I, personally, refuse to use material &/or superficial factors when judging a person (we all judge everyone around us all day, every damn day), today it’s important for me to stand up & say that BLACK LIVES MATTER. What we push these fellow humans to over & over is 100% unacceptable. I will personally fight my own battles as a woman in our society, & as a member of the LBGTQ community. Not only do those battles have nothing to do with Black Lives Matter, but those struggles & structural inequalities will never come close to the unending trauma & terror that my friends of color carry with them EVERY SINGLE DAY. I will NEVER say “all lives matter,” until I see that what our lives have is exactly what Black Lives are given. We don’t invite them to the same table as us... we allow them to sit UNDER the table & give scraps to the well-behaved ones & ignore the times they get kicked & stepped on. We rage at them when they beg for more, and refuse to look at them as equal if they somehow manage to make it into a seat next to us. They are telling us that. They have asked us all to listen & see it for what it is. They are far, far beyond being fed up with the fear & danger that’s hanging around their necks. Their sons & daughters & brothers & sisters are being murdered over & over.... COUNTLESS TIMES. I don’t blame them for this cracked ledge we’re teetering on right now. I blame US for not hearing, seeing, & acknowledging those cries as truth that deserves immediate & even extreme action. Action that proves we value their lives more than our own self-declared position of power & our comfy place in society. Action that proves that we hold white people responsible for hateful displays of racial superiority, & fearful judging on sight. Action that changes policy, & protocol, & laws, & society forever. POC, I see your color & it’s beautiful; but, your color should be something that we celebrate as a beautiful heritage that has made you a strong part of our nation’s structure & fabric. Instead, it means that you never know who you can trust & that my color could put you in danger. I promise to remember that & hold grace for whatever that may mean, because we are the ones who solidify that over & over by being a continual threat & enemy to your lives. I own that, because I have failed to demand that we change it. Also because I have said some really stupid & insensitive things in my life. I own it, & I’m ashamed of it, & I own my responsibility going forward. I’m really sorry for the hell I helped create. I WANT to do better & I’m going to try. As someone who wishes for all to be treated equally, I have to realize that wishes are wishes & change happens when people stand up & insist on it. I stand with & behind my neighbors who know that racist brutality has to stop, but more than that, I also know that our hearts & attitudes MUST change. It’s past time to open our eyes, white people. Shut your mouths & listen with empathy. Then stand behind the people who are demanding to be seen as people & help them be heard. Don’t speak for them, just be there & listen & back them up. Show the world that there are multitudes of white people who will not stand in the shadows anymore. We are more than part of this. We caused it & still do. As white individuals who love & respect our neighbors of all colors, now is the time to insist they be seen & understood. Black lives do matter to me & my world is going to know it. If this surprises you, then you never knew me. If it offends you, feel free to say so, because I want all of us to know who you are. If you feel like my sentiment has merit but want to type or say the word “but...” then go somewhere & sit with that. Think it through. Every time we come to this conversation with that approach we are saying that we understand their perspective better than they do. We don’t. & if you are white & cannot own the results of white people’s actions simply because you think YOU’VE never been racist, then I feel strongly that you’re a big part of the problem. Humble yourself. We have been getting it wrong for FAR, FAR too long & it’s time for things to change.
- Emily Gaiser
#blacklivesmatter